'While I appreciate the sentiment... I'm not doing that': Employee pushes back against coworkers' plan to buy boss a birthday gift

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    Yellow - 'I don't know of any other department at this company where this is a "thing"
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    Font - AITA for not wanting to contribute to buy my boss a bday gift? I am on a small team of myself, three other coworkers and a manager. We work for a really large company that's international and everyone has heard of. Our salaries on our team are all comparable and about $90k USD a year. My boss, however, makes probably about $175k a year. She
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    Font - buys each of us something small for our bdays (think candy) and also has bought us small Xmas gifts as well (a cheese plate, a knit hat). It was recently her bday and one of my colleagues said "oh my gosh I think we forgot so I wanted to let the rest of you know." Another colleague then said "we should all chip in some money to send her a gift of some kind" (we all still are working from home). I responded back and said while I appreciate the sentiment... I'm not
  • 04
    Font - doing that and that I didn't want to set that precedent. I left it at that but... This boss hasn't been the greatest boss or leader. Also, she makes nearly double what we do. I never have asked for any of her small gifts and past bosses didn't give them in this department but I've always thought it was top down on gifts. I've even constantly told the boss you didn't need to do this. And I don't expect it. Plus, we
  • 05
    Font - didn't get a raise this year across the company. Well the coworker who suggested we do it essentially told me I was being a jerk and that everywhere she's worked before this company they always exchanged gifts and that "this is the problem with our team" and said she misses feeling more like a team who does nice things for each other. I just told her I disagreed and don't want to start feeling obligated to pay for gifts for my boss and left it at that. Am I wrong here?
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    Font - I will also add I don't know of any other department at this company where this is a "thing" and we never did it for my last boss. I've been at the company for 10 years and with this boss for 2, all in the same department.
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    Font - [deleted] ΝΤΑ Honestly I'm not a fan when work forces everyone to get gifts for each other or play "secret Santa". It reminds me of Valentine's Day kindergarten when you had to drop a card in everyone's box. I understand for kids you don't want anyone to feel left out, but as an adult no one should be guilt tripped into buying gifts. Plus the fact they didn't give raises this year... just say it's not in your budget lol
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    Font - AdministrationThis77. I hate how much companies try to make people feel like family. At my last company, they always wanted me to go to the holiday party and I always said 'no.' I loved my team and we were all friends but I just don't want to do those things so I don't. They were coming from a good place but OMG, just let me be the grinch and sit at my desk and work. And boss's day? I'm so glad my new company doesn't do that.
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    Font - Maddie215 P perintendant [65] Actually, I think It is improper etiquette for an employee to Give a boss a gift.
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    Font - do_mika Parta: ipant [4] NTA you should never feel forced to buy a gift, especially for a boss.
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    Font - AdministrationThis77. Pooperintendant [50] NTA. Corporate gift culture is weird and the only thing you owe your boss is to make her look good by doing well in your position. That's it.
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    Font - poeadam Commander in Cheeks [26... ΝΤΑ It's really best for no gifts to be exchanged because it creates drama and doesn't really help anything. But if gifts do happen, they should be top down only as you mentioned. You aren't under any obligation to contribute to this gift.
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    Font - Myobright2344 A Aficionado [17] Yes - the rule for most offices get is that gifts flow down wards, not upwards. It would be very rare at least here in the bay area for workers to chip in to buy their boss a gift for any occasion.
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    Font - dodie2599 Parta: ipant [4] NTA. Gifts flow down... gifting up is not good.
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    Font - [deleted] Are giving gifts to your boss even allowed at your company? A lot of companies have policies against gift giving up the chain because ethically it can present issues. Might be worth looking up the policies.
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    Font - winterlilybell OP. Yeah unfortunately I think it is allowed but I'm glad to see that so many others also have the outlook that gifting flows down not up. I wasn't sure if I just missed something or always worked at weird places but that's how it's always been where I've worked. And honestly I would be happy if she didn't give gifts either. Sometimes they're things that I would never use or wear and feel obligated, like the hat.
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    Font - misterbifford ESH Really no-one should feel pressured to buy a gift for a colleague, and things like office secret santa and birthday presents can often turn out to be stressful and draining. That said, if another colleague is going out of their way to organise the gift would it really hurt you that much to chuck in $5-10 for the sake of keeping the peace?
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    Font - weddingcurmudgeon69. The only gifts I gave my ex-boss were a mug from the kind of interesting place she was born that I visited and christmas cookies every year, with a few rando baked goods I would either bring into the office or save for her partner when I made them. NTA. Bosses give YOU gifts. You get them an office card maybe.
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    Font - winterlilybell OP. Yeah I suggested a late bday card and was basically laughed at

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